Our bumpy road thru fertility

New Blog...

2011-08-09T14:37:00.000-07:00

I have decided to close this blog for awhile and start a new one. Since this was my blog for our fertility treatment, I thought I should start a new one for our family updates. So the new blog is...

http://banksbrigade.blogspot.com/

The Banks Brigade blog will be updates on our family, milestones, and just fun events that we are going thru as parents.

When we begin the fertility journey again (yes, we do plan on doing this crazy roller coaster again) then I will begin blogging thru this site. But until that happens, please join us over at Banks Brigade!

End of Semester Update

2011-05-09T11:26:00.000-07:00

So the semester is almost over, so my life is finally slowing down at least at work.
Life at home is great as ever! We have been busy since the last post. We headed home for my cousin Amanda's baby shower. Which we figured out Kaylan had the 24 hr bug, which she gave to me and I gave to my cousin, Kari. It was not fun to be sick while we were travelling. But we all recovered.

I had a great Mother's Day...we went to church and went out to eat with friends and family. I got to go shopping by myself for a bit and then a nice walk in the evening. Overall it turned out to be a great day!

Kaylan is growing like a weed. We went to her 6 month appt on April 28th. She weighed 17lbs 13oz. I will have to update on the rest, as I don't have the information with me.

She can roll over from her belly to her back (she hasn't mastered the back to belly, as she doesn't like being on her belly). She can sit up all by herself. She holds her own bottle. We are eating our vegetables and a few fruits, but she seems to like her vegetables better (YIPEE!!!).

Here is a link with pictures from 4months - today: share.shutterfly.com/action/welcome?sid=0Qcs2zhy4as3_Q

Pneumonia

2011-03-30T11:30:00.001-07:00

So as stated in my last post, we had to take Kaylan back to the doctor b/c she had a fever. Well the doctor didn't think to much about it and said her lungs & ears were good, so it must be viral. But to keep an eye on her and if the fever continue for 3 days to take her back in......

Well we woke up Sunday and YES, she still had the fever. So we took her to convenient care to be looked at. The doctor thought she sounded a little weezy, so he wanted to do a nebulizer treatment on her. Well besides the fact she was tired and wanted to sleep, she did not like that funky little mask on her. So I had to bounch her and rock her while she breathed in the medication. After the nebulizer treatment the doctor thought it would be best to take a chest x-ray since she still wasn't sounding 100%. So I had to put her in this plastic body cast type device, so the x-ray tech could get pictures to see what was going on.

After the doctor looked at the X-ray, he said he thought it was pneumonia, but wanted radiology to read the films to verify. So we started Kaylan on antibiotic to help with the fever pneumonia. Its a 4 day treatment which has been helping tremendously.

We finally got a call on Tuesday from the nurse stating that the radiologist looked at Kaylan's film and it was early pneumonia. To keep her on the medication and have a follow up with our regular doctor this week. So I will be taking her in tomorrow morning to see how the medication is helping.

All I can say is she wasn't her normal self while she had the fever. All she did was cuddle and lay on you. But once the antibiotics kicked in, she started feeling better and was talking again and back to her bouncy little self. Thank goodness

Catch up time...

2011-03-30T11:30:00.000-07:00

Sorry for the lack of posting, things have been busy as most of you know. So many things have happened since her 2 month appointment.

We've taken her to her 4 month appointment, where she got more shots. This time she remembered what shots were and started crying sooner than the last time. But she was a trooper yet again. She had grown to 14lbs 14oz, 24 inches long. She was in the 50 percentile on length and head size and 75 percentile on weight. The doctor wasn't concerned about anything as she seems healthy. She informed us we could start using cereal, which we had started a week or so before hand.

She travelled home to Bowen, to visit w/friends and family. She got to meet her new BFF..Brixley Lidaywa. She got to hang out with family at a baby shower for Kari Reuschel. It was a fun trip home but the travelling part is long and tiring.

She has learned to roll over, even though she doesn't like tummy time, we make sure she gets a bit of it every night. We've been working with her on her back muscle and arm muscles and she has finally started rolling over from tummy to back. Her leg muscles are extremely strong as she loves to stand and jump. We got a jenny-jump-up and she absolutely LOVES it. She can jump for hours in it.

We had a few night days in Illinois, so we decided to take Kaylan on her 1st walk as a family with the dogs. She wasn't as excited as we were. The dogs did great with the stroller and it was nice to be outside with Kaylan.

We had our 1st shopping spree in Tuscola for Kaylan. We went to Gymboree, Carters, Osh-kosh, Old Navy for kids clothes and we found some deals for her. We got her a bunch of summer outfits and her swimming suit. It is a 6-9 month, but is so tight on her already that I think we are going to have to go back and exchange it for a 9-12 month.

She became a big cousin, as my cousins had their twin boys...Alexander & Noah. We are so excited for the time we get to go home and actually meet the new additions.

Yesterday we had to take Kaylan back to the doctor's b/c she had a fever. She's had a sinus cold for awhile now and we weren't super worried as long as she didn't have a fever. Well yesterday she had a fever, it started off at 100.7 then by the time we got an appt to see a doctor our thermometer was saying 102.7. I started getting a bit worried at that point. When we got to the doctors office their thermometer stated 101.6. She weighed 16lbs 1.5oz. We had to see an on-call doctor and she said that Kaylan's lungs sound great. She did have some wax buildup in her ears, which the doctor cleaned out and said she didn't have an ear infection. So it is a virus that you just have to wait out, but we could give her baby Tylenol for the fever. So Marc stayed home with her yesterday and I stayed home with her today. Her fever has lowered but w/o the Tylenol it does return. I took it around 2pm and it was still 99.9, so we continue with the baby Tylenol and hope for the fever to break and remain gone. She has her moments where she is fine and acts like her normal happy self, but there are also moments that you can tell she is having problem breathing due to being stopped up and not feeling great but overall she is getting better. I hate seeing her sick but I know she will get over this as she will get over so many more colds in the future.

We have an appt for her 6 month appt coming up at the end of April. We will probably be starting her on baby food in the next couple weeks.

Life as we know it...

2011-01-26T10:11:00.000-08:00

So the holidays are over and we returned to life as we know it...which is weird b/c life as we knew it has totally changed. We have a baby...but it seems like we have always had a baby. So now life as we know just seems like life as we've known forever. But life as we know changes everyday as Kaylan has advanced so much.

We stayed in town for the holidays and spent them with friends and family. We had a great time for Chrstmas and New Years!!! As you can tell by my baby's face... hehe

Shortly after the holidays, I started back to work... boooo hoooo :-( For the first week I only worked half days on M-W-F. On M-W, I took Kaylan with me and she helped mommy do some work.....Then on Friday, we took her to daycare for our trial run in the mornings. I think that was the worst day of my life. I was crying all week. We got up and started getting ready, as we loaded her up I was crying. I cried as I drove her to daycare (as did she) and then 2 steps outside the door I started bawling. I cried the entire drive to the office. It was a rough day...I finally left to pick her up and she was screaming so when I got her into the car I cried again and that continued for the rest of the afternoon at home. I just felt so bad, I felt like I was neglecting my child b/c I left her at daycare.

I think it is so hard on me b/c all I've ever wanted to be was a Mommy!! Then we had to try so hard to get to this point...year after year of disappointment to finally get such a wonderful little girl. All I want to do is stay with her...I don't want to do that forever but just to the point that they are out of college...JUST KIDDING!!! I would love to be able to stay home with her until she is 3-4 years old, then she can go to daycare and start meeting friends and socializing. I think its also hard b/c I know that she won't be this little for very long and soon she will be in school hanging out with her friends and mommy & daddy won't even be a blip on her radar. So I want to be able to cherish her while I can.

The following week, I started back to work full time. I cried again but each day it got easier. Not that it got easy, it just got easier. I still feel horrible leaving her but know that I have to go back to work in order to keep things the way they are. She has also gotten better at daycare, she is allowing our provider to hold her and feed her. So it is just taking time, for both of us.

So Kaylan has been changing daily. Each day she seems to do something new. She is cooing and talking to us. She tries to mimic your mouth when you talk to her. She is cackling and even full out laughing at times. Each day is a true blessing and amazing how she changes. She has gone thru so many phases...from wanting to be put on your shoulder to calm her, to being held across your chest with her pacifier...she's come up with a new one. She gets cranky and you try everything, but none of it works...so you finally just lay her down on her back (on the couch or floor) and she stops being cranky almost instantly and goes to cooing and talking. We look forward to her next phase....

She is growing so much, I think she's put on 20 lbs since birth. I see newborn babies and can't even remember her being so small. She's learned to enjoy her bath time, as we sit and kick around in the water and just have fun. See below...

She just talks and talks and talks...as some would say she is taking after her mother..hey I know I talk...I just hope she doesn't out-do me. If so watch out teachers....

So we took her into the doctor's on Monday (Jan 24th) for her 2 month appt (even though she's now 3 months). She did amazingly well at her appt. She was weighed and measured, the doctor evaluated her and said she looked good, even though she has a sinus cold right now. So she weighed in at 12lbs 13oz, her length is 23.25 inches. So she is growing nicely. It was also the day we had to get her shots, she wasn't as happy a camper as she is before the shots here.

The nurse came in and gave her the oral medication, then she proceeded to give her the shots. The 1st shot, Kaylan looked around....then realized...OUCH!!! and started screaming. Before Kaylan could take her first breath, the nurse was done with the 2 other shots. It was heartbreaking, but kinda funny, as she turned all shades of red as she screamed. But once I picked her up she calmed down pretty quickly and was fine. She took it like a woman, the nurse said!!! Due to the shots, I decided to take the day off to spend with her incase she needed more cuddles...she slept most of the day. She was a little bit crankier but we managed to handle it fine. We have her next appt on March 4th for her 4 month appt, and yet again she will get shots. Boooo

So life as we know it is beyond good...it would only be better if I could stay home with our baby but yet make the income I may now...hehe.

2010-12-20T16:26:00.000-08:00

As you can tell, life has been busy at the Banks house. Marc has returned to work, leaving me at home with a newborn and 2 crazy dogs. Kaylan has gotten better about sleeping but we just recently purchased a new item to help on that front…

I saw this item in a booklet of Fisher Price items and thought about getting it. So while out shopping with a friend we found it at Target and I decided to try it out and see if it would work. Before getting this we couldn’t get her to sleep for more than 1 hour in her crib/bassinet. So for the last 7 weeks, I have been sleeping on the recliner with her on my chest. I enjoyed the cuddle time but am glad she is starting to sleep on her own.

So in the last 7 weeks, we have been busy bees. We traveled to Jacksonville, IL to meet Nana & Papa. Then we went to Springfield, IL to meet Uncle Aaron & Aunt Rachel (before their trip back to SC).

We bought a 2010 Chrysler Town & Country. In order to travel with the new addition and the dogs, we knew we had to upgrade to a bigger vehicle. So we found a mini-van that we both liked and decided to purchase it.

We also went to Jacksonville, IL & Bowen, IL for Thanksgiving. It was the 1^st time to see Great Grandpa Rankin and Great Grandpa & Grandma Keller. Kaylan also got to meet Uncle Jared & Aunt Heather & Cousin Haydon along with Kevin, Kari, Amy, Blaine, Dana, Roger & Judy. It was a great holiday weekend.

We had Kaylan’s 1 month doctor’s appointment. It went great, she weighed 9lbs 5 oz. The doctor thought she looked fine. I had my 6 week doctor’s appointment and was released w/o restrictions.

We’ve had multiple snow storms in C-U. Started getting ready for Kaylan’s first Christmas. Since she is so young, we decided to keep it small. We put up a small Christmas tree, hung our stocking and a few figurines.

We went back to Bowen for our family Christmas a week early. Friday night was the church play, where Marc & I played Mary & Joseph and Kaylan was Baby Jesus. Saturday we had our family Christmas. Saturday evening was the Rankin-Reuschel gathering. Kaylan got to meet even more of the cousins. She was passed around all evening. Sunday was church and lunch at mom & dad’s. Then we left to head back home. Luckily Kaylan slept the entire trip. The bad news was she had a meltdown Sunday night.

We are now back home and getting back into our routine. We will not be traveling out of town for Christmas. We will finally start our own family traditions. This year we won’t be doing to much but it will still be nice to get us as a family and have our own Christmas. The plan at this point in time is to go to a Christmas Eve service and dinner with a friend. Then Christmas day we may try to make a lunch for us an my brother.

Photos of Kaylan and all our trips are on my shutterfly account: http://share.shutterfly.com/share/received/welcome.sfly?fid=13d33ab4d18e35c5&sid=0Qcs2zhy4as3Vw

Home at last...

2010-11-09T18:55:00.000-08:00

So after I was released from the hospital, we tried to start our routine, but of course Kaylan wasn't having it. She has had her nights and days confused, so the only way to get her to sleep is to sleep in the recliner with her on your chest.

I am not one for remaining still for long so Saturday, I decided to head to the store for a few items. Yes, we all went to the store together...including Kaylan. I got tired while at the store, so I went to the front and waited for everyone to finish. It seemed strange to take Kaylan out, still waiting for the alarms to sound.

Sunday we had Kaylan's 1st doctor's appt. She was back to almost birth weight (6lb 14oz-birth, she weighed 6lbs 13oz on Sunday). They tested her for jaundice, she had a small amount of jaundice, but the doctor wasn't worried about it but wanted us to check her again in 2 days. After the dr appt we went to church and then back to the store for a few items that we forgot. Yes, I know I am a glutton for punishment.

So Tuesday, we went back to the dr office to check Kaylan's levels and they had decreased. So they released us until her 1 month appt.

Today, I had my 2 week post-op appointment. The doctor checked my incision area and released me to drive. But I am still not able to carry anything heavier than the baby. So that makes it hard to go anywhere, as I cannot carry the baby in her carseat, so I am still dependent on Marc to carry the baby when we head out on the town.

So the dogs have done great with Kaylan. They were pretty excited, but we have worked with them to control their excitement around Kaylan. They are doing great now...Zena still wants to lick Kaylan occassionally but Barkley has been amazing. He sniffs her and wants to know she's ok. He's been protective of her...when company comes over, he wants to know where she is and who has her. When I allow him into her room, he looks into the crib to see if she's sleeping (it so adorable)...

Marc has taken the last 2 weeks off of work, as the University give parents 2 weeks paid time off. It has been great to have him around but he will head back to work on Monday...so technically he's been off for 2.5 weeks. I am sad to see him go back to work, as it has been nice to have him around. He has been so helpful with changing diapers, soothing Kaylan, just anything I have asked.

I will be off work until Jan 10th, which will be nice once I am released completely from the doctor. It will be nice to be able to travel home for the holidays and not worry about when I need to return (except for Marc's schedule).

Pot of Gold at the end of the road/rainbow...

2010-11-09T17:43:00.000-08:00

So where to start, its been awhile since I've been able to update my blog. So on October 26th, I had a routine appointment with the doctor b/c I was past my due date (Oct 25th). So I had to complete a non-stress test, which measured the movement of the baby in a certain timeframe. Then I had a sonogram, which they measured the baby's size, fluid levels, etc. After the songoram, I had an appointment with the nurse practioner. When I arrived at the dr. appt, the nurse came in and informed us that the sonogram showed low amniotic fluid levels. Since my doctor was on-call at the hospital, she wanted to monitor me overnight. So I was taken from the clinic to the hospital's labor & delivery floor. I was put on monitor to make sure the baby was ok, but due to the low fluid levels the doctor decided to deliver me the following morning via C-section. She didn't want to put the baby thru the stress of a vaginal birth w/low fluid, which could lead to a dry birth.

Since I have had surgeries similar to a c-section, I was fine with the decision. So I was put on monitors over night (since the hospital had completed 8 c-sections, they decided to wait until the following day). So on October 27th, around 9:30am, I was prepped for a C-section. They completed the spinal (which took a few attempts), got me cleaned up and ready. Then they brought Marc in. He was super nervous, so I tried to ease his mind and let him know everything was going to be ok.
So the C-section began, I was awake and could feel them moving around but couldn't truly feel what they were doing. I felt a lot of pressure on my chest but no pain. So all of a sudden the nurse told Marc to prepare the camera b/c the baby was almost out....then I heard the doctor say, "It's a Girl!!!"

(First family portrait)

Marc's response was, "I'm in trouble"...we both were both so happy, I began to tear up when I saw our daughter for the first time. The nurses took her away to clean her up and get her weight & measurements. Marc went along with to get pictures, they asked what her name was and I couldn't even talk. We finally decided on....Kaylan Marie Banks!!!

So I was taken to recovery and Marc went to show his daughter off to his in-laws. So while I waited to him to return, I text everyone the news of our new addition. After recovery, I was taken to the recovery floor...labor & delivery is the 10th floor and recovery is the 11th floor for delivery. So Marc & my parents had already moved all our items to our room. Shortly after I arrived in my room, Kaylan was brought into the room. I finally got to really look at our daughter.

Since I had a C-section, I was admitted to the hospital for at least 48 hrs - 72hrs. Kaylan was able to stay in our room most of the time, except for testing. We had lots of visitors: Mom, Dad, David, Debbie, Julie, Cindy, Jenny, Keithon, Chad, Judy, I think that was everyone (sorry if I forgot you).

The first night wasn't very much fun, as I was told to wake a sleeping baby to feed them....so I tried, but Kaylan wasn't having it. I tried for 3 hrs to wake her up w/help from the nurses even and we had not success. So they took her around 5:30am for testing and I finally got some sleep...around 8:30am, I heard a crying baby and said, that's probably ours and sure enough it was Kaylan...ready to eat! (I guess they let you know when they are hungry, but I was worried she'd become jaundice or wasn't getting the appropriate nutrition). So once she got into the room I began to feed her (and she's a good eater, when she decides she hungry).

The problem with staying in the hospital was the bed wasn't very comfortable. After 2 nights in the hospital, my bottom was going numb and my back was aching. So when I was told that I could leave on Friday or stay for another night, I decided to head home. So Friday afternoon around 2pm, I was released from the hospital. The nurses cut the band from Kaylan's leg and my arm (so we wouldn't set off any alarms). We proceeded to leave the hospital and I was waiting for someone to take her away...but she is ours and no one stopped us from leaving.

We had our blessing, our bundle of joy!!! Ms. Kaylan Marie Banks

Dr. Appt (less than 1 week left)

2010-10-20T12:51:00.000-07:00

So yesterday we went to the doctor's yet again. We are on the final countdown...5 days left. I had my weight taken (so far only 22lbs), blood pressure drawn (116/52 or something like that)...then waited for the doctor. She checked the baby's heartrate (147-152, high for our child..hehe). Then she examined me. She said my cervix is thinning, but she massaged it to get the process moving forward. (Now that was uncomfortable and a little painful). We discussed labor and if I had any signs...gave me a chart to track baby's movement. Informed me that she'd let me go 1 week over before inducing, but wasn't too worried at this point. She scheduled me for a stress test, sonogram and appt for next Tuesday. I guess if I haven't gone into labor by then, the sono will help to determine the baby's size, amniotic fluid amount, etc...which will also help them determine if I need to be induced sooner than later.

So far I am feeling great still...a little bit of pain in the private sector (think due to the massage yesterday). But overall, still walking campus with friends, working and trying to relax before the little one arrives. Starting next week, I am going to 1/2 days at work. This will give me time to prepare for the arrival (as I have yet to pack my bags/install the car seat) and relax...but also it will give the lady who is covering my position the opportunity to actually deal with my job and if she has questions, then I will return the next morning. I figure I have enough time accumulated to take off from Monday (25th) thru my return on January 10th, so I would actually be saving myself some time by coming in 1/2 days until I go into labor or the doctor tells me no more!!! We will see what happens in the coming days!! I will post as soon as I can, but no guarantee when that will be.

Dr. Appt

2010-10-13T14:47:00.000-07:00

We went to the doctor's office yesterday to have our weekly appointment. I met with the nurse practitioner, she checked the baby's heartbeat and asked a few questions and then let me go. No real exam b/c I wasn't showing any signs of labor. So we have to wait for another week before we get to see the doctor and get an exam. So I assume I am still at 1cm and waiting. More to come in the next week....

Baby Shower

2010-10-08T13:10:00.000-07:00

We have been blessed with so many good friends, family and coworkers. Over the last few weeks we have been given 4 showers (4 actual showers and a luncheon) . I have already blogged about our family shower back home, it was on Sept 25th.

The next weekend (Oct 2nd) 2 friends of mine in C-U, Debbie & Jenny, hosted a shower in C-U. It was a beautiful shower, with hard games. We had to figure out the nursery rhymes by a description, guess baby names of candies, and of course my favorite...measure the big girl (just kidding), it was see who can guess the circumference of the pregnant lady w/toilet paper. The games were hard but we had a good time trying to figure them out. I hope to have pictures soon to add to the blog (but as I was the center of attention I didn't have the opportunity to take pictures).

Then Marc's co-worker hosted a diaper/wipes shower during their lunch hour on October 5th. We came home with 2 garbage bags full of diapers (multiple sizes) and wipes. We also got a few additional items, sleeper, bib, lotion, bath wash, etc... We greatly appreciated all the items and know we will get plenty of use from them..as we will be running thru diapers left and right.

Then Oct 6th, my office hosted a office baby shower. The put together a nice gathering. (See following blog for photos...http://pattersonpages.blogspot.com/2010/10/baby-shower.html). We had lunch offered, an office pool on sex/date of arrival, guess the baby food (which we allowed people to look, smell and taste..which was funny to watch). Then I had a speed unwrapping party from all the items that were purchased from the faculty/staff/students. We had a great time at the party. (If you see Marc in a photo w/a Iphone, that would be Julie's, Marc is now addicted to the Iphone and wants one...sorry honey...maybe an Itouch).

Today I had a luncheon with some of my PTI c0-workers. We had a lovely lunch at Milo's. I had a great time catching up with my old friends and eating some yummy upside down pizza. I received some Illini items (quilt, burp cloth, onsies) and some great books, which I am excited to read to our little one. A few people couldn't make it so that will just give us reason to get together again either before the baby or after so they can spend some time cuddling our little one!!!

Tomorrow I have a friend coming from Springfield, IL to hang out and catch up. I haven't been able to see her in some time as scheduling has been hard. I can't wait to see her and catch up.

Then I think we are done with baby showers, visitors, etc. I still have a bunch of projects I would like to finish up before our little one arrives. Foremost, we have to clean the baby's room, due to all the showers the room is busting at the seems from all the items we have received. There are a few other projects that I would like to start/finish to get our house more organized before the baby comes, but we will see if I can keep my energy up and get them accomplished!!! If not, it will wait.

Again I have realized how blessed we are with family, friends and coworkers. Thank you all for your love, support and prayers through our bumpy road of fertility/pregnancy and soon birth!

Dr. Appt...

2010-10-08T11:16:00.000-07:00

So we were suppose to start our weekly doctor's appts on Monday. But unfortunately, the dr's office had to reschedule my appt, as the doctor was on call. So we went in on Wednesday morning to see a nurse practitioner. She checked my blood pressure (118/60), my urine (trace amounts of protien), my swelling, my weight (gained 0.5lbs since last week), my stomach size (think 38inches), baby's heart rate (130), dialation (1cm), cervix (thick). She updated me on signs to call in for, informed me that things were progressing smoothly. We will go again on Tuesday, October 12th at 3:00pm. Lets see how far I've progressed in 1 week.

Dr. Appt

2010-09-28T13:37:00.000-07:00

So today we had another routine doctor's appt. Each time I am weighed, won't tell you what I weigh but I will tell you that so far I've gained 28 lbs thru the entire pregnancy. Blood pressure was higher for me but still normal ranges (125/50-something, I think?). Nothing to exciting, the doctor did a beta test, they will call with the results later. She checked the baby's heartbeat (133-141). Scheduled the next 4 appts (I now will go weekly). So October 4, 12, 19, 26 are my next doctor's appts. Pretty soon they will be checking me for dialation, efacement, etc.

So far I am feeling pretty good. The pregnancy rash that I had is starting to finally clear up. No Braxton Hicks contractions yet. My ankles are swollen but not super huge. The only real pains I have are back aches occassionally then my inner pelvic area feels like the baby is going to pop out from my leg...but it is still tolerable. So things are progressing according to the doctors wishes, so I just continue doing what I'm doing I guess.

More to come in the near future...as the countdown has begun!!!

Baby Shower(s)

2010-09-28T12:50:00.001-07:00

Well this past weekend, I went home to hang out with family and friends. My 3 amazing cousins (Kari, Kristin & Amy) and my amazing aunt (Judy), hosted a baby shower for me at the local church. It was nice to see everyone, most people attended and those that didn't sent their gifts. I got some amazing family and friends. Here are photos of the days events...

Click here to view pictures of shower

We played games...of course my favorite...guess how big she is (where you have to guess how big around the mother-to-be is with string...then you get to test your guess by measuring your string around the mother-to-be). We did guess the baby, which everyone brought baby pictures and we had to figure out who was who from the pictures...that was harder than I thought it would be. We also played guess whats in the diaper...you melt candy bars in the diaper and people have to figure out (w/o tasting) what kind of candy bar is in each diaper. We also played guess the baby food (by looks only). I think we had the most fun with the dirty diapers, people smelling them, examining them...Kari got a few good pictures of this game!!!

Throughout the day I had all the little girls helping me with the games, so I let them also help me w/opening the presents. We got a bunch of diapers (but you can never have enough right), we got some home-made clothes that were beautiful, we got our bedding, hamper, diaper hanger, we got Steeler booties (Thanks Heather...Marc was so excited). We got lots of items that I know our child will love and adore.

But this was just the first of many showers to come. My friend, Debbie & Jenny, will be hosting a shower for me this weekend in C-U. It will be fun to see everyone from here as lately I feel like a hermit. Then October 5th, Marc's job is hosting a shower for him (don't think I will make it as I have training that day). Then Oct 6th, my job will be hosting a shower for me (Marc is welcome to come, not sure if he is or not). Then I think on October 8th, I am having lunch w/my PTI crew since most of them can't make it to the shower this weekend (Oct 2nd). Then October 9th I get to see my old supervisor and good friend, Carol Callerman, as she is coming to visit....not that that is a shower but I am so excited, I had to post. Then after the baby is born, my friend Lora will host a baby shower for my high-school friend...that way they can all see the baby (since we don't get together as often as we use to) and that way if they want to get clothing items they will FINALLY know the sex.

I am sure I will get more pictures from others at the shower, as I was not able to really take any pictures, since I was so busy. But fun was had by all and it was great to see all my family and friend. As more shower are attended, I will try to post more pictures for all to see.

Routine Appt

2010-09-14T12:13:00.000-07:00

So today at 11:30am, we were to have a routine appt w/Dr. W (OB/GYN). We arrived on time, but were informed she was running 30 min late. They went ahead and called us back, did my weight/blood pressure/etc. Dr. W showed up and did the routine evaluation. Weight gain was on target, urine sample looked good, blood pressure was fine. So we got to hear the baby's heart beat again which was 144.

As some of you know, but I haven't posted Sept 3rd, I broke out in a rash. We weren't sure what it was...bed bugs, allergic reaction, what was it. So we went to convenient care on Sept 7th. They gave me a steroid creme to help clear it up and thought it was just an allergic reaction to something. So today I checked w/the dr and she stated it is normal sometime to breakout in a rash in the last trimester. So they refilled my prescription and I am hopefully on the mend (or at least less itchy).

Our next appt is Sept 28th, we will do a beta-test that date and then after that we will be on weekly appts. OMG, where have these 30-some weeks gone???? I am almost done with this pregnancy and it seems like just yesterday that we did the transfer.

Sonogram/Dr. Appt

2010-08-31T14:22:00.000-07:00

So we had an appt for a sonogram today at 8:30am then head to the dr. appt at 9:15am.

1st a little rant...why can't the Carle hospital/clinic get their acts together...why is the sonogram area in the hospital but the OB/GYN is in the clinic...2 different building. Don't you think that pregnant women have a hard enough time waddling around that you have to make them waddle thru the hospital to the 4th floor of the south clinic. Come on!!!!

Ok, now an update on our appt. We went to the sonogram to have the baby measured to see if we are on target for the due date. So the sono-tech measured the head, the belly, the heartrate (133), weight (4lb 3oz), and the fluids around the baby. We were informed that he/she (Gizmo) is now head down instead of breach. So that is also good news. She gave us a few pictures of the baby as well for our enjoyment...so we will share

Profile

Face

After the sonogram appt we walked our way over to the South Clinic to the OB/GYN appt. Shortly after getting checked in, we were informed that our dr was called away for a deliver. Guess that is part of this process...so we went w/her nurse practitioner (I think thats her title). She went over the results with us...the baby is in the 46% for growth (don't know exactly what that means), heartrate was fine, size was fine, fluids were normal but a low normal, so I have to drink more water. (GULP GULP GULP). She re-informed us that the baby is 4lbs 3 oz at this point in time. So everything is on target. We go back in 2 weeks to see the doctor again. So more on this pregnancy as we learn it ourselves!!!

Baby's Room, etc...

2010-08-26T10:54:00.000-07:00

Well the baby's room is 98% complete. We set up the crib and dresser, then got all the baby items out of the spare bedroom.

We worked on the closet (removed all items, spackled, painted and redid the hanging system). I have a littel bit more to do with the closet, as the brackets aren't working for me, then I need to get an additional shelf, so we can use it for additional storage in the closet. (Can't wait what little space we have.)

I still need to finish the stitching marks on the wall, but they are 1/3 of the way done, just need to get some energy and start puttin' them on there. Maybe tonight.

We organized all the items on the floor and put them away in the closet or drawers. After completing that I realized we need baby clothes, we have 3 outfits and 2 sleepers. I guess that is what baby showers are for.

I think we finally have dates set for a few of them...my family one will be Sept 25th back home and my C-U friends will be Oct 2nd (I think). I will have one with my HS friends after the baby is born so that everyone can see the baby...so not 100% sure when that will be. But they all will be fun!!!

We have a doctor's appt on August 31st. We get to do another sonogram, to measure the baby to see how things are progressing. I am excited to get to see our little gizmo again. I know I feel him/her moving around in there but to see him/her again is so exciting. So more will come after our appt...hopefully w/in 24 hrs of our appt at least.

Glucose Results, etc

2010-08-10T13:58:00.000-07:00

So the 1 hour Glucose test back on July 30th, I failed (borderline failed). So they wanted me to come back for the dreaded 3 hr test. Now I know why it is so dreaded. I had to fast for 8 hrs, then go to the clinic...give a urine and blood sample. After the samples, I had to drink the glucose drink while sitting in front of the lab-worker (phlebotomist, I think)....so chug I did. It was so sugary that it almost made me sick, wouldn't have been so bad if I was able to eat but on an empty stomach...ICK!!! After drinking the fluid, I had to go back into the waiting room and wait for 1hr, 2hrs, 3hr intervals (total 3 hrs) to have my blood drawn each hour. You have to stay there and can't leave the premises, you can't eat, only small amount of water during the entire time. So I caught up on some reading while I waited.

Got the call last night, that I passed with flying colors. But was informed to watch my carb intake. So I feel better knowing that I passed (which I knew I would since I was only borderline failing on the 1 hr test).

Well as stated previously, we went and looked at a crib & dresser/changing table from craigslist. We decided to go ahead and get it b/c it was a very nice set and not particle board but wood. See below...

Crib

Dresser/Changing Table

We will pick it up on Saturday morning and start the process or organizing the baby's room.

During the last 2 weekends, Marc & I managed to paint the baby's room. We decided to go with a neutral decor as we have yet to find out the baby's sex....(Which has been hard for buying, registering, etc)...but we are staying strong. So we decided on a khaki color for the top part of the walls and a light green color for the botton part of the walls. Here is how it has turned out...

We've decided to not go w/a chair rail but rather just paint a stitch across the 2 colors. The idea came from our bedding (JC Penny's) so hopefully it will turn out well, here is a small sample of what it looks like on the wall....
We have a little touch-up work to do but overall I am so excited to see it coming together. Now I can start getting excited about ORGANIZATION. We will start setting up the room this weekend and will probably redo the closet, to add more storage space...but it is a start and I am so excited to be able to start putting things away. As I am hoping to get our spare bedroom back from the insanity that is baby storage at this point in time. Once the room is completely done, I will add more pictures so everyone can see how it looks!!!

Dr. Appt & Other Items

2010-08-03T13:52:00.000-07:00

So Friday was our monthly doctor appt. I had to do my 28 week glucose test (1 hr) before the appointment. I had to drink the lovely cocktail, 1 hour before the test. So I left work early to go to the appt. After picking Marc up from home, we headed to the appt....only to realize I had forgotten my urine sample (sorry TMI), so I sent Marc back home to get it while I went in to complete the glucose test. I arrive w/a few minutes to spare, they drew my blood and then I headed to the doctor's appt. I went to the 4th floor (OB floor) and was called back, still no Marc. So they proceeded with the appt...which was short. They checked my stomach growth and the baby's heartrate (136) and then asked how I was feeling. Then we waited for Marc to arrive, after I phoned him, he informed me he was sitting in the waiting room...so I had him come back and they tested the sample...since we waited for it...it was fine, so we headed home.

So, Sunday I noticed that my right side was aching. I wasn't sure if it was gas or something more. But it didn't go away by Monday, so I called the clinic to inform them of this issue. I am waiting for a call back (but I forgot my phone today). I don't think it is anything but I wanted to be sure. It may just be muscles stretching, constipation, who knows. After waking up today, it wasn't so bad and only slightly ache if I pressed on my side. (Which Marc tells me, well then don't do it). So whatever it was seems to be getting better. I think I just scare myself w/every ache and pain b/c it took so long to get to this point that I don't want to do something wrong or for something to go wrong. But it seems like this was nothing major...

On a different note, I received a call yesterday from the clinic, I had failed (BORDERLINE) the glucose test. So they want me to come back in and do the 3 hr test. So I will be going in to the clinic on Friday at 7:30am. I have to fast for 8hrs before the test. They will get a urine sample and draw blood, then I have to drink the lovely cocktail...and wait for 3 hrs. They will draw my blood at 1 hr, 2hrs and 3 hrs. The entire time I have to not eat...WHAT ARE THEY THINKING...keeping a pregnant lady from her morning food/snacks.

We managed to paint the 1st of 3 colors in the baby's room on Saturday. We hope to do the 2nd color this weekend. We are painting the room a khaki (top)/light green (bottom) with a dark brown stitch line along the two colors. The stitch idea came from the bedding that we both liked and are registered for at JC Penny's (http://www4.jcpenney.com/jcp/X6E.aspx?GrpTyp=ENS&ItemID=14e7a9d&DeptID=70676&CatID=71676&PCatID=70676&SO=0&CatSel=4294950478%7cboys%27+crib+bedding&Ne=4294957900+5+18+8+904+949+833&CatTyp=RLE&Dep=BABY&N=4294950478&Pcat=BABY&Cat=bedding&Nao=0&PSO=0&CmCatId=7067671676) The bedding was the only reason we registered at JC Penny's). I am planning on creating my own art for the walls from the bedding idea...think I am going to make a stencil of the elephants to paint on the walls or something. I am not 100% sure yet. But at least we are starting to get the room ready.

Tonight we are going to go look at a crib and dresser/changing table that I found on Craigslist. If we get it, we can finally start to organize the room. I am going crazy w/all the things we have stored up in the spare bedroom that I want to start organizing (diapers, etc). We also need to redo the baby's room closet, as to add more hanging space (since kids clothes are small) and give us room to put things away (right now it has items for the kitchen in it, guess its time to remove those). So we still have a bunch of projects to do but slowly we are getting the house prepared for the arrive of our little gremlin. Wish us luck that we get it all done before he/she arrives!!!

Random Thoughts...

2010-07-13T09:19:00.000-07:00

So for the last few weeks, I have been able to feel the baby moving. I have tried to get Marc to witness it but he was never really sure if what he saw was the baby or just my belly moving. I have even been able to feel and see my stomach jerk w/movements. So over the weekend, Gizmo (nickname) was active...so I told Marc to put his hand on my stomach and all of a sudden Gizmo moved and scared Marc. I said yep that was him/her...he thought it was an alien coming out of my stomach, sorry just the little one. He/she is active, I usually can feel him/her in the mid-morning and a couple different times in the evening. It is a weird sensation...at first I thought they were gas bubbles, but then the doctor and friends told me nope thats the baby. I didn't believe them, but they were right...so now I just enjoy the bubble/movement and try to figure out what he/she is up to in there.

Another random thought is I've been very moody lately. I am enjoying this finally but the hormones I think are throwing me for a loop. I've been dealing with all sorts of emotions that I am not use to and its hard to control them at times, so I have been crying, laughing, etc all in the matter of hours. Marc doesn't like it when I cry but the littlest thing can set me off...and then the water works start. I try to contain them but there is just no way w/all these hormones inside me...but I guess this too will pass so I will endure for the final prize!!!

Dr. Appt & 4th of July

2010-07-06T09:44:00.000-07:00

Well I am slacking again. We had a doctor's appt on June 30th and I have yet to update the blog. Really there wasn't much to update, but here is what we found out while at the dr visit. Baby's heart rate was 145 (increase from last few times), uterus seems to be growing nicely. Scheduled our next appt for July 30th, which I have to do the glucose test again to see if I have gestational diabetes. Fun test!! That was our appt in a nut shell.

So I took off July 2nd to go to Springfield and visit a friend. Before I left, I was playing with the dogs outside, chasing Barkley and what do I do but tweek my back. Almost thought I was going to fall to the ground, but I stood there a moment and managed to walk into the house. I dealt with the pain for the remainder of the day.

Once I got to Springfield, I went to my friends house and we hung out and talked. Then we went downtown and ate at one of my favorite places (nope, not D'Arcys)...the Feed Store. They have amazing Chicken Salad sandwiches. I just wish I would've ordered like 10 to bring home. Then tried to get together w/another friend of mine but he was busy. So I headed home just in time to go to a cookout at a friends house. The bugs were bad, so I ran to the store to get...

Yes, a clip on bug repellant. That way I didn't have to use bug spray w/DEET. It seems to work, once I figured out how to set-up and run the thing. The cookout was a success and a good time was had by all.

Saturday we decided to go swimming, but since it was 4th of July weekend...we splurged. We went to Sholem Aquatic Center in Champaign, IL . It has 2 water slides, a lazy river and a zero-depth pool.

Right when we got there, I got out of the car and stepped on something. I thought it was glass but no, it was a bee. So I proceeded to do surgery on myself to get the stinger out...ok I just squeezed the stinger out. But I didn't let the bee ruin our day, we still went swimming and enjoyed ourselves. After coming home, we decided to stay in (a friend was having a bday gathering, but we decided against going) and I ended up falling asleep around 8pm, woke up at 11:00 and went back to bed around 12am...and slept the remainder of the night.

Sunday was church and since it was so nice we decided to go swimming at the cheap pool...spalding (only $2.50 for C-U residence).

It proceeded to get cloudy and rain on us while we were swimming but we stayed for awhile during the storm. Finally it was to much and we headed home to cookout. Marc was all excited to cook out b/c he had purchases a rack of ribs, I had hot dogs..asl usual. We also had pork steaks, brats. Then we made baked beans, mac-n-cheese, pasta salad, corn on the cob and corn bread. I think that was it. It was a ton of food...luckily it wasn't just us eating it. After the cookout we went to a friends house to watch the fireworks at Parkland. She lives in a subdivision close to Parkland so we sat in her driveway to watch the show. It was a good show. I was ready for bed afterwards so once we got home, to bed I went.

Monday it was suppose to rain but turned out beautiful. So we ran a few errands. I got my hair cut (thanks Debbie) and then we decided to go swimming again at Spalding. It was crowded b/c there were summer program/camps there w/all the kids but we still enjoyed ourselves. Afterwards, we came home and I laid down b/c I was tired and had a headache. I watched a little tv and fell asleep around 6pm and slept all night.

Now it is back to the working routine of life. I will admit I feel awake today. My foot (from the bee sting) is looking better and feeling better. It was swollen and red most of the weekend, but we have been medicating it. I didn't know bee stings itched so bad, but there are times I can't stop scratching it. So I have been putting anti-itch cream on it to help me manage the urges. But it is doing better. Also my back is back to normal!!! So for now I think I am almost pain-free (shhhhh, don't want something else to happen now..hehe)

ER & Dr Visit...

2010-06-16T06:59:00.000-07:00

So yesterday (see I am getting better at this blogging thing) I was asked to find someone in the office who could take a binder to one of our TAs. Well it's summer here and there is hardly anyone around, so I figured it was an opportunity for some exercise and time away from my desk. So I got the needed material and proceeded to walk to the classroom. Well right outside the classroom was an area of wet leaves,

which I proceeded to slip on and fall. I knew I twisted my ankle but I was more concerned with the fact that I had fallen and hit my stomach. But me the stubborn one I am, continued into the building to give the TA the needed materials. I also then proceeded to hobble back to the office, twisted ankle and bloody knuckles. Once I returned to the office, I asked one of the instructors to break the ice-bag b/c my hands were to sore get it to activate.

At which point the instructor asked what happened and thats when I lost it. I started bawling, trying to explain what had happened. Well my supervisor saw me crying and came to see what was wrong and after explaining to her, she said "We're going to the ER". I tried to say oh we have an appt this afternoon but she wouldn't hear it...so she took me to the ER. I called Marc to let him know what was going on and he drove over to meet us.

We got to the ER around 10:30 am, they checked my ankle over and did a prelim sonogram to make sure the baby was ok. He/she was still moving around, so everything was fine. I was release by 11:30am and my supervisor told me to go home and rest. So I did just that.

We had an appt set up for 3:00pm, for a re-do sono/dr appt...by what I was told. (See previous post for more details) After we had our appt on June 1st, I was called on June 4th to say I needed to redo my AFP blood test b/c it was figured for a twin pregnancy. Then 15-20minutes later I was called by the same nurse saying they wanted to re-do the sono/dr appt. again for the same reason (by what I was informed).

So we went to the 3:00pm appt, checked in an waited to be taken to the sonogram. When low and behold we saw a familiar face. It was the same nurse we had in the ER back with our ectopic pregnancy back in 2007. We both recognized each other so we chatted about how things were doing. Marc & I agreed that he would wait in the waiting room during the sonogram b/c he's a nervous wreck, pacing the floor..making me more nervous than I need to be. So the nurse and I chatted about the last 3 years and how we got to this point. She mentioned something about a quad-test (or something like that)...kinda made me wonder what she meant, so I informed her of what I was told the reason for the appt was. Then we just continued to chat while she continued to take pictures of the little tyke (pic at the end). So after all the pictures were taken, Marc came back to meet with the Dr.

So the doctor came in asking why I was told I was at the appt. So I informed him, then he proceeded to tell me why I was at the appt. He said that my AFP test had come back elevated and so they wanted to check to see if there were any problems with the baby.

***The AFP test checks the level of AFP in a
pregnant woman's blood. AFP is a substance made in the liver of an unborn baby.
The amount of AFP in the blood of a pregnant woman can help see whether the baby
may have such problems as spina bifida and anencephaly. An AFP test can also be
done as part of a screening test to find other chromosomal problems, such as Down syndrome (trisomy 21) or Edwards syndrome (trisomy 18). An
AFP test can help find an omphalocele, a congenital problem in which some of the
baby's intestines stick out
through the belly wall.***(WebMD)

OK, is it time to start freaking out now??????

So he proceeded to check the baby's spine and brain to see if there were any abnormalities. He said the baby looked fine.

The reasoning he thinks that my levels were elevated is I don't fit in any catagory for AFP testing. They normally test for single, twin, etc pregnancy. With me I was tested for a single pregnancy but due to the fact we were pregnant with twins he thinks that caused my levels to be elevated, b/c they have no measure for that scenario. So he informed me that everything looked fine and not to worry about it a bit.

So we can breath a sigh of relief...and now the fun...PICTURE TIME!!!!

Profile

Left Foot

Left Arm

Irritated...

2010-06-08T11:49:00.000-07:00

I tried to be a good blogger and post this information yesterday (ok, not as good as I should be) but blogger was having some technical difficulties. So I finally remember to post this rant now...

So as you probably read earlier, I had a sonogram and dr appt last week (June 1st to be exact). So Friday, June 4th I am sitting at work, when my cell phone rings. I didn't recognize the number but decided to go ahead and pick up. It was the doctor's office, they wanted me to redo the AFP bloodwork, so I asked why? Because it was figured for a twin pregnancy. So I decided to head back to the lab right after work to redo the labwork. But alas, my phone rings again...guess who? It was the doctor's office yet again...They schedule me for another sonogram and to meet with a different doctor on June 15th. So I asked again, why? since I have an appt for June 29th. Again they informed me that everything was figured for a twin pregnancy. ARE YOU SERIOUS?? (Watch out here begins the rant....)

I lost the 1 baby during my 9th week (March 23rd to be exact - 9 weeks 3 days). At that point I was still at the Urbana Clinic - fertility. Since then I have had to tell EVERYONE that I am no longer pregnant with twins. I go to an appt and get "Oh, your pregnant with twins" --- Um, No.. I lost one at 9 weeks and am now only pregnant with 1". So between the genetic testing appt, the 4 doctors appts or the sonogram tech...someone would have updated my file by now. I lost the baby at 9 weeks, I am now 20 weeks along...SERIOUSLY you can't get my file updated in that amount of time. Do you really think I like reliving the fact that we lost a baby each and every time I go into the doctors office...SERIOUSLY....what is wrong with this place?!?!?!

So now I have to take more time off to redo this appt I just did...b/c they don't know how to figure the baby's measurements from a single pregnancy when the machines say its a twin pregnancy. Can we not take the numbers and do the math ourselves...what did we do before machines became our brains. I mean I know how to do math, yes I like to use a calculator for some stuff but something like this I think if I was an OB doctor/nurse I would be able to refigure these number, but I guess that would be me using my brain to think. Guess they don't know how to do such a thing or I am just a genius.

Its not that I am mad about seeing my child again during the sonogram...by all means I can do a sonogram everyday of every week for the remainder of the pregnancy. Its the principle of it all. Also my husband doesn't like going to the sonograms b/c he is a nervous wreck. Even after seeing the baby move or hearing the heartbeat is normal...he still paces back and forth thru the room...making me nervous when I am trying to enjoy it. (May have to have him wait in the waiting room while I do the sonogram)

I also wonder if something isn't right that they do know how to use their brains but they are just using the twin pregnancy as an excuse to get me back in. So I try to stay calm and not think the worst. But we have been down such a bumpy road already...we thought that we were finally on the straigt-a-way...but alas we keep finding the pothole in our journey.

But we do know we are still blessed even with the bumps, the potholes, the winding curvey road. We know that where we are is all in God's hand (had to leave it on a positive note...even with a rant..hehe)

Dr. Appt

2010-06-01T09:48:00.000-07:00

Well I am actually updating on time instead of waiting 2 weeks before updating everyone on our appt. We had our 1st sonogram since being released from the fertility doctors for our little munchkin today. He/She was being a stinker as always and wiggling around so the sono-tech could find what she was wanting but we did get a few good pictures of our little one....

Here is the profile 1

Profile 2

An Arm

A Leg (Sorry you can't see anything)

He/She is breach at this point in time, but we still have a lot of time for that to change. His/her heartbeat was 133 (Anything btw 120 - 180 is fine). They measured his head, chest, heart, etc...

He/She kept putting his/her hands up in front of his/her face as to tell the lady...ENOUGH picutres please. We decided not to find out the sex, but were going to have the tech write it down on a piece of paper, but due to the breach situation the baby was sitting indian style and wouldn't allow for you to see btw the legs. So the baby decided for us that we would not find out the sex at this point in time.

After our sono, we went for our pre-natal appt. The nurse said that that sono looked great, the baby is measuring on schedule. He/She weighs 10 oz, almost 1/2 lb. All organs look great. So we headed down for more blood work and then back to work for the day.

We have our next appt on June 29 at 9:00am. No sono at that time but we are moving forward!!!

2nd pre-natal appt

2010-05-07T09:37:00.000-07:00

Well yesterday (yes yesterday, I am posting a lot quicker than normal) we had our 2nd prenatal appointment. It only took a few minutes after the dr came in. She informed me that all my test results came back normal...the glucose was fine. Because I've never had chicken pox they check to see if I was immune...I am!!! We are only waiting for the genetic blood test, which was sent out so it will take longer.

Then the doctor proceeded to check the baby's heartbeat, which was 142. They stated anything btw 120 - 160 is a good heart rate. (It was funny b/c I bought a doppler heart monitor for at home and checked the heartbeat the night before and finally found it for the 1st time. So when the doctor was looking for it I told her he/she was on the left side last time I checked..which helped b/c the doctor went to the left side and there it was...so the home monitor helped our appt go faster!!!)

Long Journey...but yet still so far to go

2010-04-29T13:29:00.000-07:00

Well its been awhile since I've update my blog on how things are going. The last post was of when we lost 1 of the twins. We have been on a journey since the beginning and it is not over yet.

So after our last appointment we were released to my regular OB/GYN. We had our 1st pre-natal appointment on April 6th. It was a pre-pre-natal appointment to do paperwork. We got information about what I should be eating, etc. I got my glucose drink for my glucose test. Then we pretty much left.

Our 1st official pre-natal appoint was on April 8th. It wasn't anything to exciting, just a check of the lower region and my chest. Kind of a let down for us b/c we had gotten use to sonograms at every appointment. I also went in before hand and did bloodwork and glucose test. We were suppose to have our genetic testing done this day but they double booked so we had to reschedule for April 13th.

Then Monday, April 12th--- I woke up to spotting (seriously week 13 I get a scare). So I called the Nurse Advisory number and went back to bed. Ended up calling in sick to work and laying in bed all day. Finally got ahold of a nurse around 10:30 and they decided since I wasn't actively bleeding that we would wait until Tuesday to do a viability sonogram. YET ANOTHER BUMP IN OUR ROAD!!!

So Tuesday, April 13th we went in for our genetic testing at 9:00am and then had our viability sonogram at 11:00am...well there was no point in the 2nd sonogram b/c when they did the genetic testing they would know if he/she was ok or not. So they cancelled my 11:00 appointment.

The genetic testing went fine. Baby is doing great. He/She was being a pain and wouldn't cooperate. They needed the baby to be at a profile to see the area behind the base of the skull/neck area. Well baby decided to look right at us, then would flip to his butt view...took some time and some wiggling of the tummy to get him/her to flip to a profile. The heartrate was 156 and they said he/she is doing fine. That put both our minds at ease...when we first started the testing I didn't see him/her moving much so I was about to flip out..but they said he/she was fine and once I started to see him/her flip flopping around...I knew he/she was ok.

So since that appointment we haven't had another appointment or scare since. We have another appoint on May 6th. Don't know what to expect at this one...will they do a sonogram/heart monitor or not...I don't know. So I decided to buy a fetal heart monitor for use at home. I have yet to master the thing but its fun trying. Once I go in I will ask the nurse/doctor for advice/opinion of the at home heart monitors. Maybe they can help me find the little stinker. I am not scared, I just know I do not know what I am doing with this thing so I am not sure where to look...but its fun trying. So hopefully I will be able to give you more information in the coming week when we have our 2nd pre-natal appointment.

Road bump....yet again

2010-03-23T08:37:00.000-07:00

Well today we went in for another sonogram to check the twins progress. We got to see Baby A's arms/legs moving around. Heartbeat was 166. Then we moved to Baby B, hands were up around the face, but they couldn't find the heartbeat.

They sent us downstairs to the lab for a more instensive sonogram, yet again they couldn't find the heartbeat.

We lost Baby B...even though he/she was measuring perfectly (9 weeks 1 day) there was no heartbeat....We lost Baby B

So now we are dealing with that loss and trying to stay positive about Baby A as we are still so thankful for him/her...but we had grown attached to both babies. We loved both babies, we wanted both babies, we'd started planning our life with both babies...now we pick up the pieces and move forward with our singleton pregnancy.

We know that things happen for a reason and God does not make mistake, that we need to stay strong and know that we still have another child to worry about and care for and that will get us thru this pain!

Happy but....

2010-03-18T08:18:00.001-07:00

Ok, I know that I am happy, excited, overjoyed, anything and everything regarding this pregnancy. I also know I shouldn't complain b/c I have worked so hard to get to where we are. So I am not really complaining just stating, I could do w/o the nausea :-).

I have always taken my prenatal vitamins with my breakfast, it never bothered me until now. I was noticing that my stomach was doing flips and turns it has never done before. I couldn't figure out why except for morning sickness. But I decide to try and start taking my prenatal vitamins in the evening right before I went to bed....OMG... no more all day nausea!!!

So now I am working on it becoming a habit to take them every night. I have forgotten a few time but remembered in the middle of the night and took it then...back to the nausea. So I think I have learned my lesson. Prenatals when I head to bed!!!!

Now I am feeling better during the day. I can function and do my job w/o my mind always on if I was going to have to run out the door (hehe). Now my only problem is....I can't stop eating (all day)!!!

I know even the nausea is a true blessing (even though its in disguise) and I am willing to deal with it but it isn't one of the fun parts of pregnancy. Besides the nausea or constant hunger there are times I almost forget about these little one (well if the medication routine doesn't remind me) . So I take it all with a grain of salt and thank God for the blessing I am going thru.

Just a few possible signs your pregnant...
---Constant exhaustion (that was my 1st sign)...man to even get off the couch in the evening is a task for me.
--- When you wake up and go to the bathroom....whoa the strong and strange smell that permeates the area (and you aren't going #2)
---Of course the nausea, who can not notice the nausea
---The constant hunger...have I eatin' a house yet

These are just a few of the signs, that I've had since finding out I was pregnant.

Follow up...

2010-03-10T08:01:00.001-08:00

Well yesterday we went in for our 2nd sonogram and to meet with Dr. J. It was a quick appointment. We got measurements for both babies, they are doing fine. Baby A is a little smaller than Baby B...as he/she is measuring at 6wks6days and Baby B is measuring at 7wks2days. Both heartbeats were strong. They told us one of them was 133, but didn't tell us the 2nd ones heartbeat. But we got to hear them both this time. Last time we didn't get to hear one of them so it was nice to hear them both. We got new pictures of our munchkins...

Baby A

Baby B

We go back in 2 weeks for another sonogram and bloodwork.

OMG...

2010-03-03T14:14:00.000-08:00

So today was our first sonogram since finding out about the pregnancy. Let me tell you I was still nervous. They wanted to make sure that the pregnancy was inside the uterus...ok where else would it be for me since I don't have either fulopean tube. But we got to see our little bundles of joy for the first time.

Look at our new additions...yes I said additions. We are having TWINS!!!

I know its hard to see (since this was taken by my phone). But there are two little bambinos growing inside of me. They both had great heartbeats. The clinic wanted anything over 100 b/c they are over-acheivers, ours were 122 and 117. We even got to hear Baby A heartbeat but Baby B was a little to far back to hear it...but we could still see it going so we were content with that.

After the sonogram, we met with the nurse to discuss everything. We are considered to be 6 weeks 4 days pregnant. We scheduled another appt for March 9th for a 2nd sonogram and to meet with Dr. J (fertility doctor). We are so excited to see him, still trying to decide if I am going to make and wear the shirt from my previous post.

So we have told my husband's side of the family via picture mail. I am trying to find a cute way to tell my side of the family. But its hard b/c my family doesn't have internet/advanced cell phones, so if I do something it has to be thru snail mail. I thought about sending them a picture or two that hints at the number of bambinos growing inside of me. I have also thought about actually taking this weekend to go home and spend the weekend with them to surprise them and tell them. Still not sure how I will do it, but its killing me to not tell them yet. (So knowing me I will break and tell them via a phone convo later tonight..hehe).

How do you feel???

2010-02-26T12:44:00.000-08:00

Well its been a week since we found out about our positive test results. We are still in shock and amazement. But its been a tough week as well...besides the medicine (shots) burning pain that I must indure, I have started to get my first symptom of pregnancy....nausea. I have yet to have full blown morning sickness (knock on my head), but my stomach as been playing tricks on me.

Each morning around 10:30 I get kinda sick feeling, so I eat something to calm my stomach but it gives me heartburn. So I eat Tums to help but then I feel hungry again and begin the cycle again. But when its time to eat, I think I'm starving and so I try to eat a ton but by the time I've taken 2-3 bites, my stomach is back to acting up. It is a pain to deal with but it is also part of the process to get us to our end result, so I will tolerate and deal with this new symptom and enjoy each nauseating moment of it (ok I won't enjoy it completely).

A Whole New Road...

2010-02-18T13:53:00.000-08:00

Well Tuesday, Feb 16th, we went in to the clinic to have blood drawn for my first pregnancy test. Then we waited for the result...

We received a call at 9:39am....Laura from the clinic. She said she got my results in, asked if I was sitting down. I said I was ready... she said that my numbers showed that my test was POSITIVE!!!!!!

So we had to go back this morning to take the 2nd test to make sure the numbers are doubling like they are suppose to. Well we went in before work and I was working and waiting as patiently as I could...getting more and more nervous each hour that ticked by. Finally at 12:00pm, I received the second call....the test showed the numbers were increasing accordingly. I am PREGNANT!!!!!!!!!!

So now we wait for our sonogram to see the little guy/gal...we may even be able to hear his/her heartbeat (but it also may be a little to early). We have that schedule for March 3rd. We also have an appt with Dr. J on March 9th, I so want to go wearing the following....

(Incase you can't see what the shirts says...."My Doctor Knocked Me Up")

(SIDENOTE: We did take a HPT, on Sunday morning which came back +. But I was afraid I did something wrong, so I sent Marc out for a new packet...the same kind we took when we had our ectopic pregnancy...so I took that test on Monday morning....it came back +(looks like the one shown above)...so we were hopeful with the blood test on Tuesday)

So now we begin a whole new road...a road yet traveled by us. A road that we are SO excited to be traveling on. A road that will lead us (w/God's Grace) to parenthood.

So much to update....

2010-02-10T06:33:00.001-08:00

Well we went for the mid-cycle sonogram back on Jan 21st. That was a trip...told full bladder but wasn't informed of the 1000gallon drinking requirement. So we went in at 8:00am, but my bladder wasn't full enough, so had to reschedule for 3:30pm. Then I had to run up to get my blood drawn to test my hormone levels. Then back to work until 3:00pm.

Drank all day, went to the bathroom at 10:00am and held it the rest of the day to make sure my bladder was PLENTY full. They were very satisfied with the that. They did an extensive ultrasound b/c they saw something at the baseline ultrasound. They originally thought it might be a fibroid, which scared the crap out of me...seriously how many more issues can i have internally. After the ultrasound was completed we met with our fertility nurse. They thought my lining was fine and we could start the additional medications on Jan 29th and schedule the procedure for Feb 4th, with a call on Feb 2nd with a time frame.

Forgot to ask about the fibroid, so I called back and they stated everything looked fine that it must have been colon activity or something in the original ultrasound. Thank Goodness!!

(Daily Medication starting Jan 29th)

So Jan 29th, we began the first shot. Then continued with 1 shot a day until Feb 1st where I am increased to 3 shots per day. I don't mind the Progesterone in Oil shot which has the biggest needle I've ever seen, its the Heparin shots that burn and leave me black-n-blue, those are the bad ones.

Feb 2nd, received the call from the clinic...we would have our transfer on Feb 4th at 8:45am (Indiana time)/7:45am (Illinois time). We have to arrive 1 hour early for the procedure.

Feb 4th, we wake at at 4:00am to prepare for our drive to Indiana. We leave at...

yes, that says 4:57AM, that we were in the car heading to IN. I drove there we arrive just a few minutes late. Took my Valium in the car as instructed and proceeded inside. While waiting for the nurse to take us to the prep room, the Valium hit and I was out. Nurse scared me when she called my name b/c she woke me up. So we headed back to the prep room. Got in the lovely gown and waited a few more minutes...

Here I am in my lovely gown, prob still feeling the Valium.

Marc gets into the prep room and immediately does what....
turns on the television to sports center... (Well it was the week before the Superbowl, so I guess he had to keep up with what was going on...

So the procedure was at 8:45am (Indiana Time)...we were in the prep room early and even had time to relax... The lab lady brought us in photos of our 3 embryos. All thawed w/o problems...YAY!!! We have been truly blessed in the fact that we have not lost any embryos thru the thawing process. She gave us a photo of the embryos...

Then we headed back for the procedure. My bladder was perfectly full, not over full or under full...just right. Dr. Jarrett did a great job as always. The assistants were having problem with the sono-machine. Usually I get a picture of the embryos implanted. But the machine was out of toner. They had to call in a guy to fix it and then I got the photo. It is kinda blurry b/c I took a photo of it with my camera (instead of scanning it) but the little white line with the faint circle around it...that is the implanted embryos.

We while they were fidgeting with the sono-machine. I had to lay there and relax for a few minutes. Then I can finally empty my bladder and head back to the prep room for vitals. After the vitals we are ready to go.
We are in the car and ready to head back home at...

Remember that is IL time, so that would've been 9:23am Indiana time. We arrived home around 10-10:30am and I went directly to the bedroom and layed down.

I figured I'd fall asleep but nope, I remained awake all day. I took Friday off to relax as well, which I did. I stayed in bed most of the day Friday as well as Saturday. But I had to finally get out of the house on Saturday, we we went to a 5th grade basketball game for one of Marc's co-workers. It was so cute watching them play. Then we went and got a few groceries for the Superbowl gathering. Then back to the house to relax, which I needed, I was exhausted from just that little bit. But Sunday was another relaxing day with just a bit of shopping included before the big game. Monday I headed back to work.

So now we wait. We will go in on Feb 16th for our blood test to find out if this attempt is a success or not. So now we learn patience. Which it is always on my mind and I am always praying that it works but I have plenty of distractions with work and friends and I am thankful for those. So now we wait.....

Back on the crazy train...

2010-01-17T13:57:00.000-08:00

Well this past Monday, my favorite relative decided to visit as usual. This is actually good new as it means we can start the medications to have our IVF treatment. So I began the Estrace 2x/day and called the doctors office once I knew they were open. They scheduled me for my baseline ultrasound on Thursday (Jan 14).

So we went in and my lining looked great...they went to look for my right ovary and couldn't see it. Something was blocking their view, so they want me to do a mid-cycle ultrasound w/the sono-tech on Thursday (Jan 21) then have blood work done to check my estrogen levels.

For now we stay on the Estrace only. Once we do the mid-cycle sonogram they will change my medications and decide what our next step is. So for now we are slowly working our way towards the last IVF from our current donor. If this attempt doesn't work we will have to start over from square one, looking for a new donor.

That is its own stress b/c you want to make sure that your child gets the best medical history (clear of as many issues as possible) and then you can also pick and choose your childs possible traits if you want. We try to look more at the medical aspects of things but its sometimes hard not to look at the physical traits in your decision making as well. I mean if you can give you child an advantage why wouldn't you.

So now we are back on the crazy train of the fertility roller coaster and just hope that soon we will be off this ride for good. But hopefully we will be getting of the ride with more then we started with!!!!

Relatives

2009-11-06T11:47:00.000-08:00

Well earlier this week, my favorite relative Aunt Flo decided to join us. Ok, I started my monthly cycle for you who haven't heard of Aunt Flo. Not that this is blog worthy information but it has been 2 months now that I have been pain free.

After surgery I didn't know what to expect each month. The last couple years (since getting off birth control) I have had at least 1 day with such cramping that I would just lay around all day and not do anything. I would feel sick even at times. Well last month and this month......I felt fine. Very very mild cramping, no nausea...just my cycle. So I think we had some success with cleaning out my endometriosis...but like I've stated it can come back but not to the extent (hopefully) that it was.

So now on to pain, neasea free cycles and hopefully to a successful IVF attempt January/February 2010!!!!!

Thoughts...

2009-11-03T13:08:00.000-08:00

As stated previously we are right now taking a break from fertility. It has been nice to not have to worry about medications/shots/pills/etc for the last few months. But we will start back into it in January.

We have 1 more attempt (3 frozen embryos) that we can use. Then its back to square one. We originally said this was it. But after talking about things, Marc & I have decided to try a new donor (I think). We figure no matter which direction we go, fertility/adoption/foster-care, it's going to cost us (not that money is our only reason for making decisions). But I told him that if he was hesitant b/c of me going thru the emotional rollercoaster of fertility that if he thought adoption/foster-care was any different then he had another thing coming. I told him I didn't mind the shots/medications/etc...so if he would prefer the fertility route I was fine with that.

I also look at it this way, in my opinions God moved us here so that we could have AWESOME benefits that pay for fertility. If we have these benefits why not use them. (Explaination of benefits: Our insurance will pay for 4 egg retrievals, you can do as many transfers as you get from those retrievals and if you have a pregnancy you get 2 more retrievals. Yes it even covers the donor's retrievals) So I was thinking if God brought us here for great benefits that will help us with this process, why not use them. There are so many people who don't have insurance that pays for fertility or if they pay its only a small portion of the fertility. So I feel like since we have it we better use them b/c so many people don't have what we have. Thank you God for blessing us with this opportunity.

But just so you know, this doesn't mean that adoptions/foster-care is out. I still know that there are children out there that would love to have a forever home or just a secure loving home. I am still contemplating these options. But it's something new, we have yet to venture into these areas and it scares me. It scares me like fertility did until we did it. I know I just have to be strong and push thru the fear. I hope that someday we will be able to still adopt/foster b/c I know that even if we have our own children that we could love another child (even if we have 10). Children are precious gifts from God and we need to look at them more as that (yes I know you parents with kids over 10 are probably saying...just wait until you have one...they are demon possesed. But I don't believe that...they just need direction and discipline. But I know I don't have kids so what do I know)

So for now we are optimistic that this next try will give us twin/triplet (ok, so Marc isn't that optimistic). Well if we get twins or triplets we are done, no need for a new donor...so why not hope for the best. If we do get pregnant, with 1 healthy baby then we can still find a new donor when we are ready (which we wouldn't wait to long after having the baby to probably start again, just b/c we aren't getting any younger). So we wait patiently for January to start back on the medication and see where this fertility journey lead us.

2 week eval...

2009-10-27T14:54:00.000-07:00

Well last Thursday we had our 2 week eval with our doctor. I had to ask what all he did b/c I was kinda knocked out during the procedure. He informed me that I had a ton of abrasions (and informed me of all the locations...man I was a mess) and also informed me that he cleaned them all out. Not that it doesn't mean that they can't come back but not to that extent. So he wanted to know what was next...I said that's what we are here for. He informed us that we could progress forward at any time. I suggested maybe waiting until after the holidays (as they are closed for part of December)...which he agreed. So January will be when we start back up on the fertility roller coaster!!!!!

He did mention that we should contact the clinic and start the paperwork for finding a new donor. We originally were against that...but not we are thinking about it. More on that in the next post.

Post-Op

2009-10-23T06:46:00.000-07:00

Well we finally got our 2 week post-op appt (4 weeks after surgery). I didn't get examined, but just a consult really. I asked what all he found b/c I was knocked out. So he went over the diagnosis.....I was full of abrasions (which can be caused from surgery or endometriosis) and my ovary had flipped from below my uterus to above it, so he moved it back in place and clean up all the abrasions. He did state that the abrasions could come back but not to the extent they were. So he said we are good to go to start fertililty treatments again. I told him I wanted to wait until after the holidays, as to keep the stress levels down, which doc thought that was a good idea.

He did mention that he would like for us to call in and get another donor, since this is our last set of embryos (frozen). We had informed him that this was our last go, but he wants us to try again with a new donor. We originally thought we would start the adoption/foster-care paperwork if this next attempt didn't work...but not we are thinking why not try again. So right now we are weighing our options and trying to see what is right for us. Who knows maybe we will do both fertility and adoption....

Surgery's over....Recover is going....

2009-10-05T14:10:00.000-07:00

Well I came thru surgery with little problems. I had a few problems with the incisions bleeding but that has since stopped, being it's been over a week since the actual surgery. I have returned to work and am doing great. I am still a little sore, but overall I am doing great.

So they did find some endometriosis, scar tissue, and abrasions. So the doctor treated as best he could. I am hopeful that this will end any future problems, but know that it can all return.

Surgery is approaching

2009-09-22T12:37:00.000-07:00

Well I received the call today from the Surgi-Center with my appt time for tomorrow. I have to arrive at 6:15am for a procedure at 7:30am. Dr. J will go in laproscopically and look for any signs of endometriosis and deal with them if found, then while he is at it a D&C. So hopefully I will be back home on the couch by 12:00pm, resting and recovering.

If only I had a laptop so that I could play online while on the couch...hehe! Someday we will get that advanced, until then you will have to wait until I am feeling up to sitting on a chair in front of our PC to update everyone on the status of the procedure.

Catch up or Ketchup...

2009-09-17T14:53:00.000-07:00

Well it's been awhile since I have posted to my blog. So what has been going on...nothing but yet so much.

We met with the Doctor on Aug 12th. We discussed the negative test result and the doctor was stumped. By all accounts I should be pregnant, dr's words. So he wanted to know where we stood. So I had to tell him that the next attempt may be our last, so we would like to get more testing done before hand. He informed us that if the next attempt was our last the more testing should be done. So he wants to check for endometriosis which is an outpatient procedure done laproscopically. While he does that he wants to also do a D&C. So I had to call to set up a time for this procedure which would require me to be off work 3-5 days.

I finally called and got it scheduled for Sept 23rd (Perfect timing, new seasons of TV start this week...YEAH). So I will be off from Wednesday thru Monday (with a possibility of Wednesday (30th)). I have had my physical done for the surgery, I am still on track...the count down has begun.

So that is where we are currently waiting for a surgery that could ultimately give us better chances of having children. We have 1 more set (3 embryos) of frozen embryos left. So once we are done with surgery we will know what our chances may or may not be.

So where does that leave us, up in the air....well yeah I guess so. We wait and see the results of the surgery and then decide when we want to implant our last attempt. But is it our last attempt or do we want to try again. We think if I have endometriosis, that the doctor's office should provide a donor for free since they were the ones who didn't run the test right off the bat...why would you waste 8 perfectly good embyros by implanting them before testing to see if there are any issues with the womans uterus (oven)...we don't know. We are a little baffled ourselves!!! A little frustrated, yes!! So we just try to stay patient and see what the results are and then see what the doctor has to say

Test Result...again

2009-07-29T14:01:00.000-07:00

Well today we went in and did the blood test. I got the call earlier today, that it was another negative. We meet with the doctor on Aug 12th, to discuss what our options are.

Marc & I have been discussing what we want to do now that we have had 3 failed attempts. We think its time to let go for awhile, step back for awhile to let my body get back to normal. No more drugs, no more shots....just vitamins. We have been going strong with the procedures since Feb. This will give us time to discuss our next option, to focus on God and his direction for our lives!

We have discussed going to my ob/gyn and seeing if they can start running test to see if there is something else wrong with my reproductive system...besides the plumbing issues I have..hehe. We figure why not find out now then to wait until after all our embryos are gone! Also if there is something wrong it might be an easy fix with a new medication...but we will put that into Gods hands and see what the doctors have to say.

We are also discussing starting the adoption process. We think we might start calling some agencies around here and discuss their processes and see which one feels the best match to us. Even if we decide to proceed forward with fertility and adoption...the more the better!!! We would not turn down an adoption just b/c we found out we were pregnant (even if it was triplets).

So for now we are heartbroken, but as always we pick ourselves back up and brush ourselves off and start down the path of life....all the while knowing God is by our side!!!

Transfer Day and Beyond...

2009-07-23T08:20:00.000-07:00

The transfer was scheduled for 12:30 (IN time) on July 16, 2009. So we finally got to sleep in for a change...YEAH FOR SLEEP!!!

We got ready and took off for Indy around 8:00am (IL time). We needed to arrive 1 hr before the procedure, we arrived 1hr 30 minutes early.

(Hallway of the Hospital)

I was told to go ahead and take my Valium and waited in the hospital waiting room to be taken back. As you can see the Valium started working in this photo...YEAH for Valium!

We were taken back and I got my lovely hospital gown on and waited just a few minutes before the lab lady brought me photos of the 3 blasto that were going to be implanted. (We were called before we left by her to inform us that the 3 thawed fine and none were lost during the thawing process....YEAH for not losing any embryos!!!!

Then we were taken back to the procedure room where we begin the transfer. Just to have to stop for a moment....

TMI...so if you have a quezzy stomach, skip this paragrah...I am always told to arrive with a full bladder. But I guess the 2 hr drive and drinks during it cause me to have too full a bladder. The last 2 times I have had to leave the procedure to empty my bladder. Try starting to pee and forcing yourself to stop mid-stream...not that easy. Then also try to figure out what is considered a full bladder so you don't empty it to much...hehe.

So after emptying my bladder enough we continue the procedure and Dr. J implanted 3 embryos successfully (implanted successfully....now they have to attach and grow to have a successful pregnancy) I sat there for approximately 5 minutes and then was taken back to my room and told I could get dressed and after vitals were taken we could leave.

(You are seeing a photo of the implanted embryos. If you see a white circle, that is my uterus. If you see a white streak across the top section of the uterus, that was where the catater was. The little white spot at the end of the white line is the implanted embyos.)

(Valium still working here too...)

So Marc drove us back home where I relaxed Thursday & Friday.

I slept all day Thursday once we arrived back home. Friday I slept in and then sat in bed and watched TV. I enjoy relaxing but man it is boring being home by yourself all day. Saturday and Sunday I took it easy, just a little grocery shopping on Saturday and church then a movie on Sunday.

We won't find out results until the end of the month. So with God's help we will have good news to tell everyone shortly. (Well if we tell people b/c things are so early we may wait until it we feel a little safer and we are a little farther along...we will see)

Pin cushion or test subject

2009-07-13T13:58:00.000-07:00

Well this weekend we started back on medication. I had one 1 shot on Saturday & Sunday, then today we started a new medine which is 2 shots per day on top of the PIO (Progesterone in Oil). So now I will be doing 3 shots / day...but today it will be 5 b/c the syringes were 1/2 the size so I have to do double injections.

All these injections are leading up to our transfer on Thursday. We will get our call on Wednesday to let us know what time we have to be in Indy...so here we go again!!! ON THE ROAD AGAIN!!!

Praise you in this Storm

2009-06-29T14:04:00.000-07:00

Well I haven't update in a while as a few days were taken off to process the results and deal.

Then as always, we picked ourselves up and started on our journey again. So my last post was the fact we got a BFN on our results on June 3rd. So I was to stop all medication until my next cycle...which came faster then I would've liked...June 7th.

I called the Dr. office to see if they wanted me to start my medication again (even though I had already started it)....they said that was fine.

We met with the doctor on June 17 to go over our failed try. He is stumped, he is not sure why we have not had a success yet. So he has decided to start me on a new medicine along with my normal medication routine. We discussed acupunture and he said that postive meditation (meditate on being pregnant, imagine what it smells like, feels like, etc...and that is the same affects as the acupunture). So I have been trying to find time for quiet so that I can mediate (even though I alway have the positive thoughts)

So I continued on the normal medication regiment until July 1st, when I will have an ultrasound to see how my lining is doing. At which point, I will be informed of what medicines to take and when. We are planning on heading to Indy on July 9th for our 3rd attempt, which by my calculations means our test will be on July 20 (1 day after my 33rd bday...that could be a great present or a crappy birthday)

If we find out that we have yet another BFN on the 20th, I think we are going to take some time off and let my body return to normal and give ourselves a little bit of an emotional break. WE also want to start talking with adoption agencies to see how we feel with them and pick an agency we like, so we can start the paperwork on an adoption.

So thru this life that we lead...we have had our fair share of storms, but we still are praising God for all that we have. We even praise him FOR our storms (even though it is harder some days then other). I know that God only gives us what we can handle, which means he has a lot of faith in us...I also know that I would rather go thru this knowing that God is by my side then for someone who doesn't have a faith to keep them strong! So as we hit our brick walls on our journey God has always left a rope for us to climb over, for every turn in the road he has steered us clear of the ledge. I know that there are days I feel as if I am hanging on by a weed, but deep down I know I won't fall b/c that weed is actually God's hand holding me and I am safe and secure on his path (it may not be the path I choose) but God's path is even better!! So thru this storm I continue to praise HIM, I try not to complain and know that thru this storm there will be a rainbow (a miracle) and I will praise him even more! I also know that thru this storm I can encourage others, help others and bring them closer to God...so that they can learn to praise him thru their storms and for their storms as well!!!

Test Results

2009-06-03T14:52:00.000-07:00

Well this morning I went in for the blood test, to see if our HPT was incorrect. I got 1 vial of blood drawn and walked out. A few hours later it was confirmed BFN (it was negative).

So we go to meet with the doctor on June 17th, we will have more questions this time as we are going to try acupuncture before the procedure.

So now we are back on the waiting game....

Yet another wall...

2009-06-01T08:28:00.000-07:00

Well I had decided to buy a HPT (home pregnancy test), so I could test early. So Saturday while getting our groceries we grabbed a HPT.

So Sunday morning I POS (peed on the stick) and waited the 3 minutes it takes to process. Only to find a BFN (Big Fat Negative)...

So we decided to try again this morning, but this time to pee in a cup and try it that way. Still a BFN...

We go in on Wednesday to get the actual blood test done. So there is still a slight (very slight) chance that it will come back positive. I try to thing positive thoughts but after 2 test it is hard.

The reason I decided to take the HPT, was so that I would have time to deal with the result on my own with my husband...instead of hearing the results while at work then having to call my husband to tell him.

So yesterday was a hard day....we cried, we talked, we cried some more. But we did manage to go to chuch, which was hard enough. The sermon was great as always. They had a section where you could write your prayers to God and then take them up and put them into gold bowls so that they could be sent up as incents to God....(we are in a series on the book of Revelation, very interesting). Some of the songs were hard to sing, I cried but managed to make it though the service. After I pulled myself together the rest of the day went pretty smoothly.

So now we wait for Wednesday to see what the bloodwork tells us. And try to pick ourselves back up and try again (of course w/God's help). If it is a negative, I think the next time we try I am going to do actupuncture, it is suppose to help with fertility...as long as it helps me relax it will be worth it!!!

Transfer Thursday

2009-05-27T17:43:00.000-07:00

So last Thursday (May 21st), we got up at 4:45am, to head out at 5:15am. Well we got a late start by only 5 minutes. So we were on the road to JFG in Indiana.

It was a long drive as always but luckily Marc drove the entire trip, as to let me relax and enjoy. We did get to see a beautiful sunrise as we drove...

So since we got a late start we arrive at the hospital a few minutes late. But the doctor was actually a head of schedule so we didn't have to wait very long before we were ready for the procedure...

(Sidebar: I was told to drink 24-32 oz of fluids on the way over as to have a partially full bladder. So I did as I was told. I also couldn't empty my bladder any until after the procedure. Which I HAD to go, by the time we arrive at the hospital. So the doctor started the procedure and said to go empty it some as I was rediculously full...so I got to go and partially empty my bladder. I was a humorous thing at the time..guess you had to be there)

So the doctor did the procedure...this time he implanted 3 frozen embryos. It was over within a few minutes and we just laid there for 5 minutes and then I got to empty my bladder completely. After the procedure the nurse was nice enough to give us the picture of the embryos and the picture of the embryos implanted. So we have the first possible pictures of our little one(s). So now we can show this to our kid(s) someday...

After we got home we proceeded to take a nap. Marc went back to work, I proceeded to sleep as the valium was still in FULL effect. I ended up sleeping until 4:30pm. Then I managed to get myself out of bed and onto the couch. The sad thing is I went back to sleep at 10:00pm and slept until Friday at 10:30am. (As I took off Thurs/Fri to rest)

Friday afternoon we headed back to my parents for the Memorial Day weekend, but that will be another post.

So right now we are in the 2ww (week wait). I am keeping busy with projects at work and just trying not to think about it to much.

I am trying to talk Marc into letting me get some HPT (Home Pregnancy Test), so that I can test and get myself prepared for the test next week. I just don't want to get that call again saying, sorry its negative and not have myself more prepared. So I think if I take a HPT and it has a faint line I can guess what will happen, but if there is no line I can prepare myself better, also if there is a DARK line I can prepare Marc...(most likely multiples then). So I don't know what we will do at this point in time, we are just taking it 1 day at a time right now and trying to stay positive, optimistic, and trying to give it all over to God!!!

On the road again...literally

2009-05-20T12:53:00.001-07:00

Well yesterday we go the call that our appt for our FET (Frozen Embryo Transfer) is scheduled for 9am tomorrow, which means we have to be there by 8am (those are IN time, we are IL time so subtract an hour from those) So tomorrow morning at approximately 5:15am we will be driving back to Indianapolis to arrive at 8:00 sharp. I am not looking forward to the drive but am looking forward to the procedure and the hope it brings.

Since I am having this done on Thursday, I am taking off the entire day to relax...I am also taking off Friday to continue to relax and head to my parents (if the doctor oks it). So hopefully we will be traveling to the opposite side of the state to visit with friends and family.

This will be an fun holiday weekend!!!! But just wish we could beem ourselves to and from the places instead of driving... I hate driving!!!

Everyone have a safe and fun filled weekend!!!

On the road again...

2009-05-14T10:14:00.000-07:00

Well we are back on track for our 2nd IVF treatment (FET - Frozen Embryo Transfer). This time we don't have to wait on the donor, just have to schedule it. I have started back on my medication regiment, so far only pills. This weekend we will start the shots again. Then on Tuesday (19th) we will be called with a time for the procedure, which will take place on the 21st. So 1 week from today, I will be back on the 2 week wait. I am excited and optimistic, but also scared...what will happen. This time the doctor will implant 3 embryos, which last time he only implanted 2. So that increases the opportunity for triplet. Oh Well....we will take what ever God has planned for us...if its triplets...YEAH!!! If its Quads...ok...YEAH (little scared tone behind that YEAH)...if its more...Holy Moly....YEAH!!!! So I take each day and enjoy them trying not to stress about what is about to happen...NO STRESS...well TRYING!!!!

It will be nice to have a few days off work and also before a long weekend. So YEAH for an extra long weekend!!!! Just keep us in your prayers and lets all hope for the best!!!!

Mother's Day

2009-05-09T17:01:00.001-07:00

Well we are creeping up on Mother's Day, which for most is a glorious day to celebrate their mothers or for mothers to enjoy their children. But its been a rough week for me, the closer I get to Mother's Day, the harder it has been. The more I feel like a failure. I know I shouldn't but its hard not to...our child would be a year old, had it been a viable pregnancy.

Its also been hard b/c family members have been having their 4th child when they didn't even really know that they wanted that many. I sit hear and wonder why those of us who only dreamed of a family have to struggle so hard to accomplish those dreams. When those who don't even plan to have kids seem to pop them out so easily. I try not to think this way but some days its so hard not to.

All I want is to hear "Mommy" from my child. I try to stay optimistic but wonder how long I have to wait to hear that word.

But on a positive note we are starting our 2nd attempt of IVF. I am back on medicine (luckily no shots yet...but they will start soon enough). Hopefully next Mother's Day won't be as hard for me!!!

Emotional rollercoaster

2009-04-20T06:52:00.000-07:00

Yesterday I struggled with the knowledge that I am not a mother. It should've been a day of joy, bringing our child in front of the church for Family Blessing Day, but I sat watching all the other families with their kids. As tears rolled down my face watching the slideshow of baby faces, just wondering what our childs face would've looked like...what would our child have done to make the crowd laugh, aww, or marvel. But I sat there with my heartache, wondering why???

Our little one should be 11 months old but instead I have nothing but 11 months of heartache. Each day gets harder as we get closer to Mothers Day & what should've been their "birth" date but instead I didn't get to experience that, as my child didn't get to be born.

(Just FYI - just b/c my child is with his father (almighty father-God) and not with us, doesn't mean I am not a mother...so for you who have children in your lives don't discount those of us who have lost our children due to miscarriage, infancy death, etc...we are mother too!!! We are just ANGEL MOTHERS!!!)

Update on our girl (if only it was what you thought)

2009-04-13T16:48:00.000-07:00

Well today ended on a better note then it started. We woke up to dreary, rainy, cold weather. ICKY!!! Had to get back to the routine after a weekend away, DOUBLE ICKY.

But we came home and in our mail was an surprise that brightened our day. We got an updated photo of our precious girl. Ok, so she's not our girl...but I think of her as that. We sponsor her, her name is Suze. She's from Brazil, and was as cute as a button when we first started sponsoring her at age 5.

Told you she was cute as a button. How could we ever pass up the opportunity to bless another child. Even in the tough ecomony, we have so much more than most countries...

We write to her and send her stickers, cards, games. Just little gestures of our love for her. We send she bday cards & gifts and Xmas cards & gifts.

She sends us masterpieces, with updates from her teachers. One day these masterpieces will hang in our kids rooms with all the other beautiful artwork from our loved ones.

So to see our precious angel's beautiful face was just pure joy. She has grown up so much since we started sponsoring her. She is even more beautiful now then before. She has blessed us in so many ways and we only hope that she continues to gain knowledge and improve her life. She deserves so much and we are there to help her as much as we can.

Heading Home...

2009-04-09T17:06:00.000-07:00

After the last few weeks that we have had, I thought it might be good to go home and hang out with family, as we have not been home since Christmas. So tomorrow after work we will drive all the way across the state (3 hrs) to my hometown...Bowen, IL.

I am excited to see my parents, as I miss them terribly and love them dearly. I am a big time daddy's girl, so just to get a hug from my dad will make me feel better.

But I am not looking forward to the driving, I grew up in a small town where we had to drive approx. 30 minutes to do anything, so after 20 some years of doing that you get tired of driving. So to drive 3 hours for on Friday evening and then back on Sunday, totally sux! But in order to spend time with the family I do it, b/c I love them.

Hope everyone has a happy easter!!!

Dr. Appt - good/bad

2009-04-08T13:29:00.001-07:00

Well we met with the doctor today to go over the failed attempt we made. He was sorry that it didn't work. He told us that we had great frozen embryos and was impressed by the quantity (9). So he said the next time he would thaw 3. It will give us better options b/c frozen don't always attach as well as fresh. So now the risk of triplets...BRING IT ON!!!

YAY: for options as we have frozen embryos to use!!!

I told him that I started my cycle on Saturday, he asked if I had started my medication. I said no...since I am 5 days out he would prefer me to wait until my next cycle. We told him we would prefer to wait anyway, as to give us some down time.

YAY: for a small break
BOO: for a small break

He said to start the Esctrace 2x day on my first day of my cycle. To call into the clinic and they would exlpain the medications and set the date for the procedure. He said this time around it will be easy. So now we just wait for my next cycle and deal with what our lives.

YAY: For a proactive doctor

On a personal note: I am doing ok. Yes we have stress, yes we have heartache...but we also have hope. I cry occassionally for what we've lost but I also smile for what I know we will have. Because of my faith I know God will provide, does that make the pain any less...no. But it gives me hope for the future! I thank God for his blessings and patience with me as I know I could try his patience (if he had them but since he's such a loving/giving God...he just smiles at me and sends more blessing (even if its thru trials and heartache))

TMI...sorry

2009-04-06T10:01:00.000-07:00

Well here goes, aunt flo showed up on Saturday. I knew this month would be bad since I haven't had one for 2.5 months. Well it is a bear this month. But it's also its an emotional roller-coaster as well...knowing that the embryos didn't take, knowing that right now my little ones are no longer inside me. My stomach is cramping and with each pain I think how my heart is aching as well.

Here's the TMI...since it has been such a strong month, I have notice quite a few blood clots. Which scare me and me wonder if something else is wrong with me.

I also got a call from the doctor today, just calling to say sorry it didn't work and to see how I am holding up. I try to keep a brave face but sometimes its so hard. We meet with the doctor on Wednesday and I know it will be harder when I see him face-to-face. I am just worried about what the next step is...where do we go from here!!

Test Results....yet another brickwall

2009-04-01T17:37:00.000-07:00

As stated before, I went in yesterday to get my blood test to check to see if the transfer took...aka I was pregnant. Well I didn't hear anything yesterday, so figured I would today but nothing all morning....

So I decided to call and check, which it is a good thing, b/c the all the test weren't ordered. When I checked in I told them what I thought I needed but wasn't sure. I handed them the order from the doctor...was told they didn't need it. So they drew my blood and I left thinking I was leaving it in capable hands....well when I called back they had only done 1 of the 3 test that needed to be done. So they had to get the blood sample and run the test...so back to waiting (yet another hill in our journey). But the one test that they did run, I was told looked fine. (OK, lets get our hopes up...)

So finally I got a call from the fertility clinic (not the clinic that took the sample - but they do work together). It was from my donor coordinator, she had the test results. My beta was negative (BFN=Big Fat Negative), I am not pregnant. (BRICKWALL) She didn't have any reasoning as my other test looked fine. The doctor is on vacation this week, so when he returns he will look over my results and see where we go from here.

I am trying to stay strong and positive, but I am SO SCARED that when the doctor looks at the results he will say there is yet another issue with me, that I can't carry a child. After being pregnant and having to loose it, then to try fertility and my eggs aren't good, to using a donor and it didn't take....I am just waiting for him to say "This isn't going to work" one more time. How much can I take, how strong am I....I don't know!!! I pray I am strong enough, I pray for strength, I pray for courage, I pray continuously thru this journey

1st test, now the wait

2009-03-31T09:03:00.000-07:00

Ok, so I am still an emotional wreck, trying to hold it together. I went in today for my first pregnancy test. Had to have blood drawn and now we wait. I am hoping for a call by today but don't know when it will come, so I sit here at work and try to focus all the while I am so not here mentally. So keep your fingers crossed, say a prayer, what ever you would like to do...we appreciate it all!!!! THANKS

Emotional...

2009-03-27T08:49:00.000-07:00

Ok, so what is wrong with me. Is it all the meds, is it that I'm scared, what is my problem. Yesterday and today I have been an emotional wreck. I am scared of every ache in my stomach, I am fearful that everytime I go the the restroom I will see blood (sorry TMI). I am trying to be strong, I am trying to put on a brave face and a smile, but all I want to do today is CRY!!! I know God is good, so even if this doesn't work...I know he will provide. But sometimes its more then I think I can handle.....as a friend put it....God only gives you what you can handle but why does God trust me so much!!!! I think I just need to have a good cry, maybe once I get it out I will be better.

But on a positive note: We only have 4 more days after today before the 1st test. I can't believe its been a week since we had our embies transferred. Grow Embies Grow...even if they both attach and both split into quads, so be it....the girl who said she'd give 1 away if she had twins is now willing to take twins, triplets, quads, quints, sextuplets, anything,...JUST BRING IT ON!!!!

Our future

2009-03-23T10:14:00.000-07:00

Well right now we are in the 10 day wait for our pregnancy test. Man this is going to be a long 10 days.

But while we were at the hospital they told us that the remaining embryos were earlier stage blastocysts then the 2 that were implanted. That if they didn't mature within 24 hours we wouldn't be able to freeze them.........OUCH!!!!

So we got the call Sunday morning and they were able to freeze 9 of 12 remaining embryos. So we lost 2 :-( but we are excited about the 9 :-)

They also said that since the one did so well at the lab in growing overnight they are very optimistic with the ones they implanted. So we are praying and keeping our hopes us that things work out and we are pregnant. But won't know for sure until March 31st. Countdown has begun.

Transfer

2009-03-21T14:46:00.000-07:00

Well we got up at 4:00am this morning to get ready and head for Indy. It was early and I was excited but not ready for the drive. We made good time, go there about 6:30 CST/7:30 IT.

So we checked in and proceeded back to the waiting room. At 8:46ish they took me back to the room for the transfer. (Gotta luv the early am gown wearing look here)

Within 10 minutes, the doctor was done. We implanted 2 embryos that were early blastocyst. So the blobs could possibly be our child(ren). We are hopeful that everything works out.

What do we have

2009-03-21T14:43:00.000-07:00

Tuesday - March 17th
Well the got the call, of the 14 eggs we got....ALL are showing signs of fertilization. So now we have to wait to see what that biologist decides for a 3-day or 5-day transfer.

Wednesday - March 18
Lab called and decided to wait for a 5-day transfer as we have so many eggs to work with. So it looks like Saturday we will be heading back to Indy for the transfer.

Thursday - March 19
Our transfer is scheduled for 8:45 IN time, which we have to be there 1 hr before the procedure. So we have to leave at 4:30am (our time) to get there in time for the procedure.

Shhhh, it's still kinds quiet...

2009-03-17T11:16:00.000-07:00

Well we haven't told that many people yet, but I had to get it out. Yesterday we went to Indiana to the fertility clinic because our donor was ready for the egg retrieval. We don't get to meet our donor, but we had some paperwork to sign and procedures to do, so off we went at 6:50am to Indy. We arrived at 10:00 Indy time/9:00am our time. Everything went smoothly. The only thing that could've gone better was if we knew the number of eggs the donor produced and retrieved..............

Well we received the call about 2 hrs after we got home from Indy. We have 14 eggs to work with. Now we just have to pray they all fertilize.

Waiting Patiently with a few bumps

2009-03-13T19:24:00.000-07:00

So our brickwall behind us, now we were back on the road to our family. We waited patiently for the clinic to email us our donor profiles. It took months, then we finally got our profiles but we were 3rd to choose. We got the 3 profiles...we heard the 1st couple backed out so we were 2nd...HORRAYY!!!! We looked over the profiles, which most features weren't anything like me, but that was ok...we wanted our donor history to be clean of medical issues as much as possible. We loved 1 profile but found out it was chosen by the other family. So we looked at the 2 remaining profiles, which we just weren't completely comfortable with, so we asked what would happen if we chose to wait for the next batch. We were told we would get the next group of donors...so we decided to wait and find a better family history from our donor. So we expected to receive new donor profiles within the next month and we started waiting...and waited...and waited. What started as 1-2 month wait, turned into 6 month wait. We kept getting the run around about donors moved, changed jobs...which I believe but didn't make the wait any less painful. We finally started got a donor emailed to us, just 1...I was sceptical but her health was great and that was what we were concerned about. Her features may not match but our childs health is more important then their ears...so we decided to chose this donor.

Climbing Over our Brickwall...

2009-03-13T19:13:00.000-07:00

So I was told I couldn't use my own follicles due to quality and quantity....my brickwall. So where do we go from here. We have options right...yes. So I picked myself up, looked at my brickwall and decided how to climb over my wall. Donor Eggs or Adoption, what is our choice. Well lets look into donor eggs, we would use another womans eggs and Marc's swimmers. So the child would be Marc's bio child. Now to get over that bump in the road, the child will not be my bio-child. To look into this childs face and not see my eyes looking back, how do I learn to handle this...same as always. I make a choice, it may not be my bio-child, but it is my blood that will keep this child alive thru the pregnancy and that makes this child OUR child. Also if I am ok with adoption a child that isn't mine or Marc, why would I not be ok with allowing Marc the option to try to have a child of his own that will be my own as well. I will love this child as if it was conceived naturally. I will raise the child as if nothing was done any different then the women from 100 yrs ago. So we decided to proceed forward with the donor egg program and waited for the clinic to email us donor profiles. We waited patiently for months...over our brick wall and onto our waiting game!

Fertility Beginnings - Brick Wall

2009-03-13T18:42:00.000-07:00

So after all the trials we went thru, we met our fertility doctor. He had an eager, positive attitude. So we started right away with a regiment for In-Vitro Fertilization (IVF). We started our first cycle, with daily shot and hormones. We went in for routine sonograms to see how I was producing. Well I onlyl had 2 follicles that were maturing, so we cancelled our first cycle and started again a month later. The 2nd attempt they put me on the max dosage for the retrieval. Went thru the same thing...shots daily, meds, doctor appts, sonograms...again only 2 follicles. But doc wanted to go ahead and do the retrieval to see what we had. So we continued with the protocol and went thru with the egg retrieval. After the egg retrieval we went home and went on with our lives...waiting for the phone call to see if either/both follicles fertilized. The call came first thing the next morning....nothing. Neither follicle fertized. So we were back to square one we thought. After the failed 2nd attempt we met with our doctor shortly afterward waiting to hear what his next attempt was, waiting to see what our next step was. We went in not knowing what to expect....only to hit our brick wall. He wouldn't be able to allow me to proceed forward with my own follicles again. BAM...BRICK WALL!!!

Our Story - from the beginning to fertility

2009-03-12T10:41:00.000-07:00

Our story begin in 1998, when Marc & I met in Macomb, IL. Lets jump ahead a little... we got engaged in Nov 2003. During our engagement, I was having some pain in my lower abdomen. After multiple test and forcing doctors to keep looking, they found I had a dermoid cyst in my left ovary. Which caused me to go into surgery 1 month before our wedding. What they thought was a golf ball size cyst turned into a grapefruit size. So the doctors had to remove my left ovary due to the damage from the cyst. We were told that this would not affect our chances to have children as my other ovary would compensate for the missing ovary. So we proceeded with the wedding as planned in April 2004. Now a few years down the road we decided it was time to start thinking about extending our family so bye bye birth control. After a few months, my cycle seemed a little weird, so I decided to take a home pregnancy test (HPT)...well it came back with a faint line. So we called the doctor and went in for the routine blood test. Later that day we got the news we were pregnant, but I knew something wasn't right. That night we ended up in the ER (for one of the longest nights of my life). By 2:00am we were finally told that we miscarried. So after getting discharged, we headed home to deal with the news. The only problem was I was in EXCRUCIATING pain. Marc wanted to take me back to the ER, but I refused and dealt with the pain. So the doctors office wants me to get a blood test to verify that I had miscarried, so we went in and did that. Later that day we got the call, the doctor wanted to see us the next day. So we made the appt, went in and had 2-3 sonograms done. Then met with the doctor...I hadn't miscarried I had an ectopic pregnancy, that I would need to have surgery TODAY! So back into the operating room I went, this time it was my right side. So here I was no ovary on the left side, no tube on the right side....My plumbing was all wrong!!! So now our chances of kids naturally dropped to miracle status. So shortly after we got released from the doctor for the ectopic pregnancy, we met with our fertility doctor.